Emotional Intelligence Series
Life, as we all know, is unpredictable. Just when we think we have things figured out, chaos arrives — in the form of personal setbacks, professional challenges, global crises, or inner struggles. It’s easy to feel lost, overwhelmed, or directionless when the winds of uncertainty pick up. But there’s one thing that can help steady us, no matter how fierce the storm: a strong, clear “why.”
Your why — your core purpose, your deepest reason for doing what you do — is the compass that keeps you pointed toward true north when everything else feels out of control. It’s what fuels resilience, provides clarity, and helps you make choices aligned with who you are and where you want to go.
In this article, we’ll explore why having a strong why is essential for navigating life’s chaos, how it shapes our decisions and mindset, and how you can find (or reconnect with) your own.
Why Chaos Is Inevitable — and What That Means for Us
Before we dive into the power of a why, let’s face a simple truth: life will never stop being messy.
Relationships will go through ups and downs.
Jobs will change. Economies will fluctuate.
Health will present challenges.
External forces — from natural disasters to global events — will disrupt our plans.
We often seek control through schedules, routines, and goals. These are helpful, but they can crumble when chaos strikes. What endures isn’t the plan — it’s the purpose behind the plan.
That’s where your why comes in.
What Is a ‘Why’?
Your why is your reason for being. It’s the deeper motivation that fuels your actions. It’s the meaning that makes the hard work, the setbacks, and the sacrifices worthwhile.
Your why might be:
- A vision of the impact you want to have in the world.
- A commitment to your loved ones.
- A drive to grow, learn, or master something.
- A passion for a cause greater than yourself.
- A longing to create, contribute, or leave a legacy.
Whatever it is, your why anchors you in meaning — and meaning is what makes chaos navigable.
The Power of a Strong Why in Turbulent Times
Let’s break down how having a clear why helps us weather life’s storms.
It Provides Direction When the Path Disappears
In times of chaos, the road ahead often becomes unclear. We may no longer see the next step, let alone the long-term destination. When external markers fade, your why keeps you from wandering aimlessly.
Think of it this way: if you’re in a dense fog, a clear purpose is like the lighthouse on the shore. You may not see the path to get there, but you know what direction to aim for. That’s enough to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
It Strengthens Resilience
When you have a strong why, you’re more likely to persevere through difficulty. Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, put it this way:
👉 “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’”
Purpose gives pain a context. It turns struggle into sacrifice — something endured for a meaningful end. With a why, setbacks feel like part of a bigger picture, not just pointless suffering.
It Guides Decisions in Uncertain Times
Chaos often forces us to make hard choices. When plans fall apart, or we’re faced with competing demands, our why acts as a filter.
Does this decision move me closer to my purpose, or distract me from it?
Does this choice honor what I value most?
A strong why simplifies complexity. It helps us cut through the noise and choose what truly matters.
It Fosters Inner Stability
When life feels chaotic, it’s easy to feel scattered internally. A clear purpose centers us. It gives us an inner still point — a reminder of what’s timeless and true, even as everything around us shifts.
This sense of inner stability isn’t about ignoring the storm. It’s about standing firm within it, grounded in who we are and what we’re here for.
Real-Life Examples of Why-Driven Resilience
Throughout history — and in our everyday lives — people who are anchored in a strong why have shown extraordinary resilience. Their purpose became the thread that held them together through chaos, uncertainty, and hardship. Let’s explore these examples in greater depth and see what we can learn from them.
Malala Yousafzai — Purpose Over Fear
Malala Yousafzai grew up in Pakistan’s Swat Valley, a region where the Taliban, at one point, banned girls from attending school. From a young age, Malala’s why was clear: she believed deeply in the right of every child — especially girls — to receive an education.
In 2012, Malala was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman as she rode home from school, targeted for her vocal advocacy. For many, this life-threatening attack would have understandably ended their public activism. But for Malala, the experience only deepened her resolve.
Her why fueled resilience. In interviews, Malala has said that her fear died the day she was shot. Surviving the attack gave her renewed clarity that her life’s purpose was worth any risk.
Her impact multiplied. Rather than retreat, she used her platform to speak globally, becoming the youngest-ever Nobel Peace Prize laureate. She co-founded the Malala Fund, supporting education programs worldwide, and continues to inspire millions.
Malala teaches us that when your why is bigger than your fear, not even violence and oppression can silence your voice.
Nelson Mandela — A Vision That Endured Decades of Imprisonment
Nelson Mandela’s why was to see South Africa free from the chains of apartheid — a brutal system of racial segregation and oppression. His dedication to this cause began in his youth and ultimately led to his imprisonment for 27 years.
Most people, faced with nearly three decades of confinement and forced labor, would lose hope or become embittered. But Mandela’s vision of a democratic, inclusive South Africa sustained him.
His why shaped his mindset. Mandela used his time in prison to reflect, learn, and plan. He studied his captors’ language (Afrikaans) to better understand them. He chose forgiveness over resentment, preparing himself to lead a nation toward reconciliation rather than revenge.
His why inspired peace. When Mandela was finally released, he didn’t return to stoke division. He led with his purpose — building a multiracial democracy and uniting a fractured country. His leadership prevented what could have been a bloody civil war.
Mandela shows us that a strong why can sustain hope over decades, and that purpose can turn personal sacrifice into national healing.
Dr. Edith Eger — Turning Trauma Into a Mission to Heal Others
Dr. Edith Eger, a Holocaust survivor, was just 16 when she was sent to Auschwitz. She lost her parents to the gas chambers and endured unspeakable suffering. Yet today, in her 90s, she is a renowned psychologist and speaker who helps others heal from trauma.
Her why emerged from her pain. For years after the war, Eger tried to bury the horrors she had endured. But eventually, she realized that her deepest purpose was to help others confront and heal their own wounds.
Her why brought resilience. Rather than letting her past define her as a victim, Eger chose to transform it into a source of strength. Her work encourages people to face their inner prisons and reclaim their power.
Her impact. Through her books (The Choice and The Gift) and her therapy practice, Eger’s why has touched countless lives, showing people that even the most devastating trauma can be turned into a source of purpose and growth.
Dr. Eger’s story reminds us that sometimes our deepest why grows out of our deepest pain — and that our scars can become our greatest sources of strength.
Healthcare Workers in the Face of the COVID-19 Pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic was one of the most chaotic periods in modern history. Hospitals overflowed, resources ran short, and healthcare workers faced unthinkable pressure — risking their own health, working long hours, and witnessing loss on a daily basis.
What kept so many of them going wasn’t just duty or obligation — it was their why:
- To save lives.
- To comfort the suffering.
- To honor the oath they took when they entered the profession.
Their why fueled resilience. Despite exhaustion, fear, and grief, countless doctors, nurses, paramedics, and support staff showed up day after day. Their purpose — to care for others in their most vulnerable moments — kept them steady in the storm.
Their why inspired innovation and compassion. Across the globe, we saw frontline workers devise new treatment protocols on the fly, create moments of human connection despite PPE barriers, and support patients and families through unimaginable loss.
Their legacy. Many healthcare workers have since spoken about how their why deepened through the crisis. They emerged with renewed purpose, even if scarred by the experience.
These heroes remind us that purpose isn’t abstract — it’s what helps us show up for others when the stakes are highest.
What We Learn from These Stories
What do these examples have in common? Several powerful lessons about the role of why-driven resilience:
Purpose gives pain meaning. Without a why, suffering feels pointless. With a why, even the hardest trials become part of a meaningful journey.
A strong why outlasts chaos. Plans change, conditions change, but purpose endures. It adapts, evolves, and keeps guiding us forward.
Your why fuels service. These examples show that powerful purpose often extends beyond the self — it drives us to make the world better for others.
Purpose transforms trauma. Many of the most resilient people have turned their hardest experiences into fuel for their why — using their stories not as sources of shame or victimhood, but as sources of strength and service.
How Can You Apply These Lessons?
Ask yourself:
What is my why? What would keep me moving forward even when everything else falls apart?
How can I use my experiences — even the painful ones — to fuel my purpose?
Who or what do I serve through my purpose?
The stories of Malala, Mandela, Eger, and countless frontline heroes show us that resilience isn’t about having an easy life. It’s about having a life anchored in meaning.
How to Find (or Reconnect with) Your Why
If you’re feeling lost in the chaos, or you’re unsure what your why is, here’s how to start clarifying it.
Ask yourself the big questions
- What gives my life meaning?
- When do I feel most alive?
- Who or what do I want to serve or impact?
- What would I work for, even if I knew I might never fully achieve it?
Look at your heroes
Who inspires you most? What do they stand for? Often, the qualities we admire in others point to what we value deeply ourselves.
Reflect on your greatest challenges
What struggles have shaped you most? What did you learn? Sometimes, our purpose grows from the pain we’ve endured — a desire to help others facing similar trials, or to create a world where that suffering is less common.
Test your why in the real world
Purpose isn’t just an idea — it’s lived. Try pursuing something that feels aligned with your emerging why. Does it energize you, even when it’s hard? Does it feel like you’re moving in the right direction?
Your Why Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect
One common barrier to finding purpose is the belief that your why must be profound, world-changing, or perfectly articulated. That’s not true.
Your why can be simple: “To be a kind and supportive parent.”
It can evolve over time as you grow.
It doesn’t need to impress anyone — it only needs to resonate deeply with you.
Purpose as Your Lifeline in the Chaos
There’s no escaping life’s chaos. The storms will come. The plans will crumble. The map will sometimes disappear. But with a strong why, you won’t be lost. You’ll have a compass that keeps you moving forward, even when the way is hard to see.
So ask yourself today:
What’s my why?
Am I living in alignment with it?
How can I return to it when I feel adrift?
Because in the end, the strength to navigate life’s chaos doesn’t come from avoiding the storm — it comes from knowing what makes the storm worth braving.
