Personal Development Series
Criticism is a natural part of life. No matter who you are or what you do, at some point, you will encounter people who have something to say about your actions, decisions, or achievements. However, one of the most interesting truths about criticism is this: no one doing better than you will ever criticize you. This idea serves as a valuable lens through which we can evaluate the feedback we receive, discern its source, and determine whether it’s worth listening to or ignoring.
The Psychology Behind Criticism
Criticism often says more about the critic than the person being criticized. People tend to criticize others for a variety of reasons, many of which have little to do with you and everything to do with their own insecurities, frustrations, or unmet expectations.
Here’s Why Criticism Happens
Projection of Insecurity
Many people criticize others as a way of projecting their own insecurities. If someone feels inadequate, they may lash out at others who are excelling because it momentarily makes them feel superior. Instead of addressing their own shortcomings, they redirect their negative feelings toward you.
Jealousy and Envy
Criticism can also be fueled by jealousy. When someone sees you succeeding in ways they wish they could, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy or resentment. Instead of celebrating your accomplishments, they attempt to diminish them with criticism.
Lack of Perspective
People who haven’t achieved your level of success often lack the perspective needed to understand the challenges, sacrifices, and hard work it took to get there. This ignorance can lead them to criticize you unfairly, assuming your success was easier to attain than it actually was.
Why High Achievers Rarely Criticize Others
In contrast to the critics described above, high achievers tend to avoid criticizing others. Why is this?
Why High Achievers Tend to Avoid Criticizing Others
Empathy and Experience
High achievers know firsthand how difficult it is to reach their level of success. They understand the obstacles, failures, and perseverance required to accomplish big goals. This empathy often makes them less inclined to tear others down.
Focus on Their Own Journey
Successful people are too busy working on their own goals to waste time criticizing others. They understand that negativity is a distraction and that energy is better spent on self-improvement and progress.
A Growth-Oriented Mindset
High achievers typically operate from a growth-oriented mindset rather than a fixed mindset. They view others’ successes as inspiration rather than competition. If anything, they’re more likely to offer support, mentorship, or constructive feedback than unwarranted criticism.
Confidence in Their Abilities
Confidence plays a significant role. Successful people don’t feel the need to put others down because they don’t see them as threats. Their confidence in their own abilities allows them to celebrate others’ achievements without feeling diminished.
Who Should You Listen To?
Not all feedback is created equal. To grow and improve, it’s essential to distinguish between criticism that is constructive and criticism that is destructive.
Whose Criticism Should You Listen To?
Mentors and Coaches
People who have achieved what you aspire to accomplish or who are further along the path you’re walking are invaluable sources of feedback. These individuals can provide insights, advice, and constructive criticism rooted in experience. When they critique you, it’s usually because they genuinely want to help you improve.
Trusted Friends and Colleagues
Those who know you well and have your best interests at heart can offer meaningful feedback. They’re likely to provide criticism from a place of care and understanding, and they’ll be honest without being malicious.
Your Audience or Customers
If you’re an entrepreneur, artist, or creator, feedback from your target audience is critical. While not every comment or suggestion will be valuable, paying attention to trends and patterns in their feedback can help you improve your product or service.
Your Inner Circle
Family members, close friends, or significant others who understand your goals and values can be good sounding boards for constructive feedback. While their criticism may not always be technically precise, it often comes from a place of love and concern.
Your Own Gut and Intuition
At the end of the day, you are the ultimate authority on your own life. While it’s important to remain open to constructive feedback, you should also trust your gut. If a piece of criticism doesn’t feel right or aligns poorly with your values, it’s okay to dismiss it.
Who Should You Ignore?
Now that we’ve discussed whom you should listen to, let’s look at who you should ignore when it comes to criticism:
People Who Haven’t Achieved What You Aspire To
If someone hasn’t walked the path you’re on, their criticism is likely uninformed and unhelpful. For example, taking business advice from someone who’s never started a business is unlikely to move you forward.
Negative Naysayers
Some people criticize purely for the sake of tearing others down. These individuals often dwell in negativity and thrive on spreading it to others. Their criticism is rarely constructive and is best ignored.
Internet Trolls
In the age of social media, online trolls are an unavoidable reality. These individuals criticize anonymously, often out of boredom or malice. Their words are rarely worth your time or energy.
People Motivated by Jealousy
As mentioned earlier, jealousy is a major driver of criticism. If someone’s critique seems rooted in envy rather than genuine concern, it’s best to disregard it.
Those Who Don’t Know the Full Story
Many critics make assumptions about your life, goals, or decisions without having all the facts. If someone doesn’t understand the context of your actions, their criticism is likely irrelevant.
The Power of Filtering Criticism
When you start filtering criticism through the lens of “Who is this coming from?” you’ll notice a dramatic shift in how you respond to negativity. Instead of feeling defensive or demoralized, you’ll become more discerning and confident in your ability to evaluate feedback.
Tips for Filtering Criticism
Pause Before Reacting
When you receive criticism, take a moment to evaluate the source before responding. Ask yourself: Is this person qualified to give me advice? Are their intentions constructive or destructive?
Seek Constructive Feedback
If you’re unsure about the validity of a critique, ask the critic for specific suggestions or solutions. Constructive criticism is usually actionable, while destructive criticism is vague and unhelpful.
Let Go of Unnecessary Negativity
Don’t let criticism from unqualified or malicious sources weigh you down. Recognize that their words say more about them than about you.
Focus on Your Goals
Remember that criticism is often a distraction. Keep your eyes on your goals and don’t let negativity derail your progress.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Build a network of mentors, peers, and friends who uplift and inspire you. The right support system can help you stay grounded and focused, even in the face of criticism.
Turning Criticism into Growth
While much criticism can and should be ignored, some of it—particularly from trusted sources—can be a powerful tool for growth.
How to Make the Most of Constructive Criticism
Listen with an Open Mind
Even when criticism stings, try to view it objectively. Is there truth in what’s being said? If so, how can you use it to improve?
Separate Emotion from Feedback
It’s natural to feel defensive when criticized, but it’s important to separate your emotions from the feedback itself. Focus on the message, not the tone or delivery.
Take Action
If the criticism is valid, use it as motivation to grow. Implement changes, learn new skills, or adjust your approach to address the critique.
The idea that “no one doing better than you will ever criticize you” is a powerful reminder to evaluate the source of criticism before taking it to heart. Most criticism comes from people who are either envious, uninformed, or projecting their insecurities onto you. High achievers, on the other hand, rarely waste their time tearing others down. Instead, they focus on their own growth and success.
By learning to filter out destructive criticism and embrace constructive feedback, you can stay focused on your goals, grow as a person, and continue achieving success without being derailed by negativity. Surround yourself with supportive people, trust your intuition, and always remember: the loudest critics are often the least qualified to judge your journey.
