Quick Reads
quick read — Emotional intelligence
7 Things That Will Ensure You Are Emotionally Bankrupt in Your Personal and Professional Relationships
Emotional wealth—having deep, fulfilling relationships and strong emotional resilience—is just as important as financial wealth. But just like money, if you overspend, ignore your balance, or make bad investments, you can quickly become emotionally bankrupt.
Want to ensure your personal and professional relationships drain you rather than sustain you? Here are seven surefire ways to deplete your emotional reserves. (And if you want to avoid emotional bankruptcy, consider doing the opposite!)
No. 1 — Never Set Boundaries – Say Yes to Everything
If you want to be emotionally exhausted, never say no. Let everyone’s needs, requests, and problems take priority over your own.
At work, this looks like taking on extra tasks even when your plate is full. In personal relationships, it’s constantly bending over backward to accommodate others while neglecting your own well-being.
👉 The Fix. Protect your emotional resources by setting clear boundaries. Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s self-preservation.
No. 2 — Bottle Up Your Emotions and Never Express Them
Want to build resentment and eventually explode at the worst possible moment? Keep everything inside. Never communicate when you’re hurt, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Just smile and say, “I’m fine.”
The problem? Suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they build up like a pressure cooker. And when they finally come out, they’re rarely controlled or constructive.
👉 The Fix. Express yourself in a healthy way. Whether through honest conversations, journaling, or therapy, emotional expression is key to emotional health.
No. 3 — Surround Yourself with Toxic People
Emotional bankruptcy is guaranteed if you fill your life with people who: ✔ Constantly take but never give. ✔ Undermine your confidence. ✔ Drain your energy with endless negativity.
Toxic relationships—whether at work or in personal life—are like emotional credit card debt. They seem manageable at first, but over time, they leave you feeling depleted and worthless.
👉 The Fix. Audit your relationships. Invest in those who uplift and support you, and distance yourself from those who consistently drain you.
No. 4 — Expect Others to Read Your Mind
If you want constant disappointment and frustration, never communicate your needs. Just assume people should “just know” what you want, what bothers you, and when you need help.
In reality, no one is a mind reader. Unspoken expectations lead to unmet needs, which lead to resentment.
👉 The Fix. Speak up. Whether it’s at work (“I need more clarity on this project”) or in personal life (“I need some support right now”), clear communication prevents emotional overdrafts.
No. 5 — Stay in a Constant State of Stress and Overwork
Want to drain your emotional reserves as quickly as possible? Never rest. Always be busy. Check emails at 2 AM. Work weekends. Never take time for yourself.
Chronic stress leads to burnout, and burnout leaves you feeling numb, detached, and emotionally unavailable for the people who matter most.
👉 The Fix. Prioritize rest, fun, and personal time. Emotional energy isn’t infinite—you need time to recharge to be fully present in your relationships.
No. 6 — Avoid Difficult Conversations at All Costs
If you’d rather let resentment fester and relationships deteriorate, avoid confrontation at all costs. Ignore issues, let problems snowball, and pretend everything is fine.
Sure, avoiding tough conversations feels easier in the short term, but in the long run, it creates misunderstandings, broken trust, and irreparable damage.
👉 The Fix. Learn to have healthy, constructive conversations. Facing difficult topics head-on leads to stronger, more authentic relationships.
No. 7 — Make Everything About You
A great way to push people away? Always center yourself in every situation. Never listen—just wait for your turn to talk. Downplay others’ struggles because your problems are bigger.
At work, this looks like taking credit but never giving recognition. In personal life, it’s constantly shifting the conversation back to yourself.
👉 The Fix. Practice active listening and empathy. The best relationships—both professional and personal—are built on mutual respect and understanding.
Protect Your Emotional Wealth
If you want to be emotionally bankrupt, keep saying yes when you should say no, ignore your own needs, and surround yourself with toxic people. But if you want emotional wealth, start making deposits:
✔ Set boundaries. ✔ Express yourself openly. ✔ Invest in healthy relationships. ✔ Prioritize rest and balance. ✔ Have difficult conversations when needed. ✔ Practice empathy and active listening.
Emotional bankruptcy isn’t inevitable—but avoiding it requires conscious choices. Your relationships, both at work and in life, thrive when you manage your emotional resources wisely.
quick read — Personal development
Don’t Believe Your Own BS: A Reality Check for Success
We’ve all encountered people who seem oblivious to their own faults, believing their every word, action, and idea is flawless. Maybe it’s a boss who insists their strategy is perfect despite clear evidence to the contrary. Or perhaps it’s a friend who can’t fathom why their relationships keep falling apart but blames everyone else. Here’s the harsh truth: when we start believing our own BS, we enter dangerous territory.
Self-delusion isn’t just a personal flaw; it’s a professional and societal hazard. When we convince ourselves that our body odor is perfume—metaphorically speaking—we blind ourselves to reality. Without self-awareness, we risk stagnation, failure, and broken relationships. This article explores the dangers of believing your own BS, why self-awareness is vital, and how to avoid falling into the trap of self-delusion.
The Danger of Believing Your Own BS
No. 1 — Reality Distortion
When you start believing your own BS, you create a distorted view of reality. You dismiss constructive feedback, ignore red flags, and cling to a version of events that serves your ego. This mindset leads to poor decision-making because it’s rooted in fiction rather than fact.
Example. A leader might insist their company is thriving despite plummeting sales because acknowledging the truth would force them to confront uncomfortable realities.
No. 2 — Cognitive Biases Amplify the Problem
Cognitive biases are mental shortcuts our brains use to simplify decision-making, but they often lead us astray. When we’re unaware of our biases—confirmation bias, overconfidence bias, or the Dunning-Kruger effect—we reinforce our self-delusions.
Confirmation Bias. We seek information that supports what we already believe while ignoring contradictory evidence.
Overconfidence Bias. We overestimate our abilities or knowledge, assuming we’re better equipped than we really are.
Dunning-Kruger Effect. We lack the competence to recognize our own incompetence, which makes us doubly blind to our flaws.
Believing your own BS feeds these biases, creating a vicious cycle that distorts your judgment further.
No. 3 — Erosion of Trust
People aren’t fooled for long by inflated egos or self-serving narratives. When others see through your BS, trust erodes. Colleagues, friends, or clients lose confidence in your leadership and integrity, which can be devastating personally and professionally.
No. 4 — Stagnation and Missed Growth Opportunities
Acknowledging flaws and mistakes is a cornerstone of growth. When you refuse to admit your shortcomings, you miss opportunities to improve. You might even sabotage your success by doubling down on ineffective strategies rather than learning from failure.
Why Self-Awareness Is the Antidote
The solution to self-delusion is self-awareness: the ability to see yourself clearly, understand your strengths and weaknesses, and recognize how your behavior affects others. Without self-awareness, you’re driving blind, unaware of the risks ahead.
No. 1 — It Keeps You Grounded
Self-awareness prevents you from getting swept away by your own hype. It’s a reality check that reminds you success is a journey, not a permanent state of being.
No. 2 — It Builds Stronger Relationships
People gravitate toward authenticity. When you’re honest about your flaws and open to feedback, others are more likely to trust and respect you. Self-aware individuals inspire loyalty because they prioritize honesty over ego.
No. 3 — It Enhances Decision-Making
By understanding your biases and limitations, you can make more objective, informed decisions. Self-awareness allows you to recognize when your perspective might be skewed and seek input from others to fill in the gaps.
How to Avoid Believing Your Own BS
No. 1 — Seek Honest Feedback
Encourage people around you to provide candid feedback, and create a safe space for them to do so. Listen without defensiveness and take their input seriously.
Practical Tip. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s one thing I could improve on?” or “How do you perceive my handling of this situation?”
No. 2 — Challenge Your Assumptions
Don’t take your beliefs or decisions at face value. Regularly question whether your perspective is accurate or if you might be succumbing to cognitive biases.
Practical Tip. Before making a major decision, ask yourself:
What evidence supports this choice?
What evidence contradicts it?
Am I dismissing valid concerns because they don’t align with my narrative?
No. 3 — Embrace Vulnerability
Admitting you don’t have all the answers isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a hallmark of strength. Vulnerability fosters connection, builds trust, and opens the door to growth.
Practical Tip. Share your challenges and mistakes with your team or peers. This not only makes you relatable but also sets an example of accountability.
No. 4 — Use Tools for Self-Reflection
Leverage tools like personality assessments, journaling, or coaching to deepen your understanding of yourself. These tools can highlight blind spots and provide actionable insights.
No. 5 — Surround Yourself with Truth-Tellers
Cultivate relationships with people who value honesty over flattery. True friends and trusted colleagues won’t hesitate to call you out when you’re veering off course.
Practical Tip. Identify a mentor or advisor who isn’t afraid to give you tough love when needed.
The Reward: Growth and Authenticity
When you refuse to believe your own BS, you set yourself on a path of continuous growth and authenticity. Acknowledging your flaws doesn’t diminish your worth—it amplifies it by showing your willingness to evolve. Leaders who are self-aware and grounded inspire respect, loyalty, and admiration. They’re not trying to sell a narrative of perfection but are focused on progress.
Own Your Body Odor
Let’s face it: sometimes, our “perfume” is just body odor. Acknowledging that truth is liberating. When we stop trying to convince ourselves and others that we’re flawless, we free ourselves to learn, grow, and succeed authentically.
Believing your own BS might feel good in the moment, but it’s a short-lived high with long-term consequences. The real power lies in facing reality, embracing your imperfections, and committing to continuous self-improvement. As the saying goes, “The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.” So, own your body odor, and start smelling the truth—it’s far better than living in a cloud of self-delusion.
quick read — LEADERSHIP
Be Slow to Hire; Be Quick to Fire
The success of any organization depends on its people. As a leader, I’ve learned that the hiring process is not about filling seats or ticking boxes—it’s about finding individuals who embody the values and drive your organization needs to thrive. Similarly, when someone isn’t the right fit, prolonging their tenure serves no one—not them, not the team, and certainly not the organization. That’s why I firmly believe in the philosophy: be slow to hire, but quick to fire.
Why I Don’t Prioritize Education and Experience Anymore
Traditional hiring practices often place significant weight on a candidate’s education and experience. And while these factors can be important in certain roles, I’ve found that they rarely predict success in the ways we hope. Instead, I focus on three critical attributes, in this order:
No. 1 — Character and Integrity
Above all else, I value character. A person’s integrity, honesty, and moral compass shape how they interact with others, handle challenges, and uphold the organization’s values. Skills can be taught, and knowledge can be acquired, but character is intrinsic. I want people who do the right thing when no one is watching, who are transparent about their mistakes, and who earn the trust of their peers.
No. 2 — Hunger Level
Hunger is the drive to succeed, learn, and grow. It’s the trait that separates those who meet expectations from those who exceed them. A hungry employee is proactive, eager to take on challenges, and motivated to push boundaries. I often ask myself, “Is this person running toward success or just showing up for a paycheck?” Hunger is the fuel that propels individual and organizational success.
No. 3 — Accomplishments
Lastly, I consider past accomplishments—not as proof of ability, but as indicators of what the individual values and how they approach goals. Did they take ownership of their achievements? Do their results align with the qualities my team needs? Accomplishments show how candidates have applied their character and hunger in real-world scenarios.
The Importance of a Rigorous Hiring Process
Finding the right person requires more than reviewing a résumé and conducting a single interview. It demands a deep, multi-faceted evaluation process that goes beyond surface-level impressions. Here’s how I approach it:
No. 1 — Video Submissions
One of the first steps in my hiring process is asking candidates to submit video responses to specific questions. This accomplishes two things: it allows me to see how they communicate and think on their feet, and it gives me insight into their personality and enthusiasm. Video submissions help me weed out candidates who lack genuine interest or alignment with our culture early in the process.
No. 2 — Measuring Cognitive and Non-Cognitive Skills
Cognitive abilities like problem-solving, critical thinking, and adaptability are essential for most roles. However, non-cognitive traits—such as emotional intelligence, resilience, and teamwork—are equally, if not more, important. Tools and assessments that measure both provide a comprehensive view of a candidate’s potential to thrive in the role and within the team.
No. 3 — Personality Profiles
Personality assessments, such as the DISC profile or the Big Five model, are invaluable in understanding how a candidate might fit into the team’s dynamics. They shed light on communication styles, work preferences, and potential areas of conflict. Hiring isn’t just about finding the best individual performer; it’s about building a cohesive team.
No. 4 — In-Depth Interviews
Finally, I conduct rigorous, multi-round interviews. Each round focuses on a different aspect of the candidate’s suitability: technical skills, cultural fit, and alignment with the company’s values. These interviews aren’t about catching candidates off-guard but about creating opportunities for them to demonstrate who they are and how they think.
Why “Quick to Fire” Matters
On the flip side, firing an employee is one of the most difficult decisions a leader faces. Yet it’s also one of the most necessary, and delaying it can have widespread negative consequences.
No. 1 — The Cost of Holding On
When you know someone isn’t the right fit, keeping them in the organization often leads to more harm than good. It drains resources, impacts team morale, and can create an environment of mediocrity. Other employees may question your leadership for tolerating underperformance or poor behavior.
No. 2 — Fairness to the Employee
While firing someone is never easy, it’s ultimately the kindest thing you can do if they’re struggling to meet expectations or fit into the culture. It gives them the chance to find a role or organization better suited to their strengths and goals. Prolonging the inevitable only prolongs their frustration and uncertainty.
No. 3 — Protecting the Organization
As leaders, our first responsibility is to the health of the organization and its people. Allowing one person to underperform or disrupt the culture undermines the hard work of everyone else. Tough decisions may be uncomfortable in the short term, but they pay off in long-term stability and success.
Balancing Empathy with Accountability
Being quick to fire doesn’t mean being ruthless. It’s about addressing issues with empathy and professionalism. Here’s how I approach it:
No. 1 — Communicate Early and Honestly
Before firing someone, I ensure they’ve been given clear feedback about their performance and opportunities to improve. Surprises are unfair and unnecessary.
No. 2 — Document the Process
Keep detailed records of feedback, performance reviews, and any disciplinary actions. This protects both the organization and the individual.
No. 3 — Be Respectful and Transparent
When delivering the news, I approach the conversation with kindness and clarity. I focus on the fit between the individual and the role rather than making it personal.
No. 4 — Offer Support
Whenever possible, I provide resources to help the employee transition, whether that’s a severance package, career counseling, or a strong recommendation for roles better suited to their strengths.
“Be slow to hire; be quick to fire” isn’t just a mantra—it’s a strategic approach to building strong teams and a thriving organization. By prioritizing character, hunger, and accomplishments in hiring, you set the stage for success from the outset. And when you approach firing with fairness and empathy, you protect the health of the organization while respecting the individual.
Great teams are built with intention, and great leadership requires tough decisions. When we embrace both with clarity and compassion, we create workplaces that inspire excellence and innovation.
Quotes of the Week
QUOTE — EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
QUOTE — PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
QUOTE — LEADERSHIP
Reframe
Why We Shouldn’t Discount Introverts for the Top Job
When we think of CEOs, we often picture bold, charismatic leaders who command attention, work the room effortlessly, and thrive in the spotlight. However, research suggests that up to 40% of CEOs are introverts—quiet thinkers who lead with strategy, deep focus, and emotional intelligence rather than loud presence.
Despite the misconception that extroverts make the best leaders, introverted CEOs have proven time and again that their strengths can drive massive success. Let’s explore why introverts should never be overlooked for leadership roles and highlight some highly successful introverted CEOs who have left their mark on the business world.
Why Introverts Make Great CEOs
No. 1 — They Listen More Than They Talk
One of the greatest strengths of introverts is their ability to listen actively and process information deeply before making decisions. Instead of dominating meetings with their own ideas, introverted leaders encourage their teams to speak, absorb different viewpoints, and make well-informed choices.
💡 Example. Warren Buffett The legendary investor and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway is known for his thoughtful, reserved leadership style. Buffett credits much of his success to his ability to listen, reflect, and make calculated, long-term decisions rather than impulsive moves.
No. 2 — They Think Before They Act
Introverts tend to analyze situations carefully before making a move. They are less likely to jump into action based on gut instinct alone and more likely to strategize, plan, and anticipate future challenges. This methodical approach leads to sustainable growth rather than quick, reactionary decisions.
💡 Example. Jeff Bezos The founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, is famously introverted and analytical. He built Amazon from a small online bookstore into a global giant by meticulously planning and focusing on long-term vision. Instead of making rash decisions, Bezos emphasized data, strategic expansion, and innovation—traits that are common among introverted leaders.
No. 3 — They Excel at Deep Work and Focus
Introverts are naturally drawn to deep focus and problem-solving, which helps them make impactful business decisions. Rather than seeking constant external stimulation, they thrive in quiet, distraction-free environments where they can work through complex issues.
💡 Example. Bill Gates The co-founder of Microsoft is a classic introvert who embraces solitude and deep thinking. Gates regularly takes “Think Weeks” where he isolates himself to read, reflect, and generate big ideas. His ability to work deeply and anticipate industry shifts has made Microsoft one of the most influential companies in the world.
No. 4 — They Lead with Humility and Emotional Intelligence
Unlike some extroverted leaders who dominate through charisma and force of personality, introverts tend to lead with humility, patience, and emotional intelligence. They are more likely to value collaboration, empower others, and create a culture of trust and respect.
💡 Example. Tim Cook As the CEO of Apple, Tim Cook had massive shoes to fill after Steve Jobs. Unlike Jobs, who was an outspoken visionary, Cook is reserved, thoughtful, and focused on execution. Under his leadership, Apple has continued to thrive, proving that introverted leadership can be just as effective as its extroverted counterpart.
No. 5 — They Stay Calm Under Pressure
Introverts are often less reactive and more measured in high-pressure situations. Because they don’t seek external validation as much as extroverts, they are less likely to make impulsive or emotionally driven decisions. This ability to stay calm helps organizations navigate crises smoothly.
💡 Example. Mark Zuckerberg The Facebook (now Meta) founder is a well-known introvert who is soft-spoken and analytical rather than loud and charismatic. While he has faced many challenges as CEO, his ability to stay focused and composed under pressure has helped Facebook maintain its dominance in the social media space.
The Misconception: Do Leaders Need to Be Loud?
The assumption that CEOs must be charismatic extroverts is outdated. Leadership isn’t about who speaks the most—it’s about who makes the best decisions.
Many organizations miss out on incredible talent because they associate leadership with extroversion rather than looking at qualities like strategic thinking, resilience, and the ability to inspire teams through action rather than words.
The best leaders aren’t necessarily the loudest in the room—they’re often the most thoughtful, intentional, and deeply focused individuals who lead through action, not just charisma.
Time to Rethink Leadership
If 40% of CEOs are introverts, then clearly, introversion is not a weakness—it’s a leadership strength. The next time someone assumes that only extroverts make great CEOs, remind them of Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Tim Cook, and Mark Zuckerberg—all proof that quiet leadership can be just as, if not more, effective than loud leadership.
The world needs more leaders who listen, strategize, and lead with thoughtfulness and humility. Introverts, your leadership is not just valuable—it’s essential.
Deep Dives Articles
DEEP DIVES ARTICLE — EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
The Underrated Power of Kindness in Leadership
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives article — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full article.
Leadership isn’t about being the loudest or the toughest in the room—it’s about inspiring trust, building connections, and fostering loyalty. Kindness, often mistaken for weakness, is a secret weapon that drives sustainable success and transforms good leaders into great ones. Curious about the science behind kindness and how it can revolutionize your leadership style? Unlock the full article with our Deep Dives Membership to learn why kindness is the ultimate leadership superpower.
DEEP DIVES ARTICLE — PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
The Science of Mindset Reframing
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives article — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full article.
Your mindset shapes your reality—but did you know that with intentional reframing, you can rewire your brain for success? Backed by research in neuroscience and psychology, mindset reframing is the key to transforming challenges into opportunities. Ready to explore the science and master practical techniques to shift your perspective? Subscribe to our Deep Dives Membership to read the full article and start reframing your life today.
DEEP DIVES ARTICLE — LEADERSHIP
The Challenges of Self-Awareness in Leadership: Bridging the Perception Gap
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives article — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full article.
How often do you see yourself as others see you? For many leaders, this gap between perception and reality creates blind spots that sabotage trust, morale, and growth. Understanding and overcoming these barriers is critical to becoming the leader your team needs. Want to discover why self-awareness is the foundation of great leadership and how to cultivate it? Become a Deep Dives Member today for full access to this transformative article.
Deep Dives Book Summary
Psychological Types
By Carl Jung
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives Book Review — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full Book Summary.
Unlock the secrets of personality, consciousness, and human behavior with our in-depth summary of Carl Jung’s Psychological Types. This foundational work explores the groundbreaking concepts of introversion, extraversion, and cognitive functions that have shaped modern psychology. Learn how these psychological types influence your decision-making, relationships, and leadership style, and discover practical insights for achieving balance and personal growth. Subscribe to our Deep Dives Membership for full access to this detailed summary and take the first step toward understanding yourself—and others—on a whole new level.