Quick Reads
quick read — Emotional intelligence
10 Struggles Emotionally Intelligent People Understand Personally
Emotional intelligence is a remarkable strength, enabling deeper connections and greater self-awareness. However, it comes with its own unique challenges. These 10 struggles are deeply familiar to those who practice emotional intelligence and navigate the complexities of understanding themselves and others.
No. 1 — Feeling Everything Intensely
Emotionally intelligent individuals experience life with heightened sensitivity. For instance, at a wedding during the father-daughter dance, they might reflect deeply on their relationship with their own parents, experiencing a flood of emotions. While this intensity can feel overwhelming, it also allows them to connect more fully to life’s meaningful moments.
No. 2 — Noticing Unspoken Emotions
These individuals have a knack for sensing the emotional undercurrents around them. In a work meeting, for example, they might pick up on a colleague’s stress despite their polite smile. This ability to read emotions helps them create supportive spaces, but it can also feel heavy when they constantly absorb others’ feelings.
No. 3 — Balancing Empathy and Boundaries
While empathy is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, it can also be draining. When a friend leans on them for emotional support, they may struggle to balance being there for the friend while protecting their own energy. Learning to set boundaries is vital to avoid burnout.
No. 4 — Overanalyzing Social Interactions
Emotionally intelligent people often replay social encounters in their minds. After a casual dinner, they might lie awake wondering if a joke they made was misinterpreted. While this introspection fosters growth and stronger connections, it can also lead to unnecessary overthinking.
No. 5 — Playing the Peacemaker
Conflict in any setting often prompts emotionally intelligent individuals to step in as mediators. At a family dinner, for example, they might redirect a tense political argument to maintain harmony. While this effort keeps relationships intact, it can also feel exhausting to shoulder the responsibility for peace.
No. 6 — Struggling with Emotional Boundaries
Empathy sometimes makes it difficult to separate their own emotions from those of others. If their partner has a rough day, they might carry that stress themselves, blurring the lines between their partner’s feelings and their own. Recognizing these boundaries is essential to maintaining emotional well-being.
No. 7 — Seeing the Bigger Picture in Conflict
During disagreements, emotionally intelligent people often step back to understand the other person’s perspective. For example, even while upset during an argument with a partner, they might acknowledge their partner’s feelings. While this perspective helps resolve conflicts, it can sometimes feel like they’re doing all the emotional labor.
No. 8 — Being Deeply Affected by Injustice
Stories of injustice can linger in their minds long after others have moved on. Reading about a community in need might inspire them to take action, such as donating or volunteering. While this compassion drives meaningful contributions, it can also feel emotionally overwhelming.
No. 9 — Craving Depth in Relationships
Emotionally intelligent individuals prefer meaningful connections over superficial interactions. Networking events filled with small talk can feel draining, while a single heartfelt conversation leaves them fulfilled. This need for authenticity might limit the quantity of their relationships but enhances their quality.
No. 10 — Owning Their Emotional Missteps
Emotionally intelligent people hold themselves accountable for their actions. If they snap at a loved one, they’re quick to apologize and reflect on what triggered their behavior. While this level of self-awareness can feel humbling, it strengthens trust and mutual respect in their relationships.
The challenges of emotional intelligence demand reflection, effort, and personal growth. However, these struggles lead to stronger relationships, deeper connections, and a more meaningful life. Emotional intelligence isn’t about perfection but about showing up authentically, learning from each experience, and fostering empathy.
Ultimately, these struggles are what make life extraordinary. By navigating them, emotionally intelligent individuals enrich not only their own lives but also the lives of those around them.
quick read — Personal development
Are You Truly Rested? Here’s Why Sleep Alone Won’t Cut It
The hustle is real. Between working, shopping, cooking, traveling, and trying to keep up with a whirlwind of activities, you might think getting enough sleep is the key to recharging. But here’s the kicker: sleep is only one part of one type of rest you need.
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a physician and rest expert, highlights that we require seven distinct types of rest to truly reset and recharge. Without them, we risk entering 2025 feeling burnt out, unfocused, and far from our best. Let’s break these down, along with how to recognize when you’re lacking a specific type of rest and simple ways to get it.
No. 1 — Physical Rest
Signs You Need It.
- You feel constantly drained, no matter how much you sleep.
- Frequent colds or minor illnesses seem to follow you.
- Persistent aches, pains, or muscle soreness are part of your daily life.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Passive Rest. Prioritize getting 7+ hours of sleep nightly and, when needed, indulge in naps.
- Active Rest. Incorporate practices like deep breathing, yoga, or massages to soothe tension and restore energy.
No. 2 — Mental Rest
Signs You Need It.
- Your mind feels foggy, and concentrating feels like a monumental task.
- You find yourself snapping at small things or feeling unusually irritable.
- Even when you try to focus, your brain feels “full” or sluggish.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Set Boundaries for Focused Work. Block time in your day for deep work and eliminate distractions during those periods.
- Create Calm. Listen to soothing music, meditate, or simply allow yourself to sit quietly for a few minutes.
- Offload Your Thoughts. Keep a notebook handy to jot down any swirling ideas or worries.
No. 3 — Emotional Rest
Signs You Need It.
- You feel overwhelmed by others’ drama or expectations.
- Anxiety and self-doubt creep in more often than usual.
- You find yourself emotionally spent, with little energy for your own needs.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Avoid Comparison Traps. Focus on your own journey instead of scrolling social media or comparing yourself to others.
- Seek Support. Therapy or honest conversations with a trusted friend can provide relief.
- Identify and Remove Emotional Drains. Set boundaries with toxic relationships or situations that deplete your emotional reserves.
No. 4 — Spiritual Rest
Signs You Need It.
- You struggle to find motivation or purpose in your day.
- Feelings of hopelessness, insignificance, or being trapped take over.
- Life seems less fulfilling, and satisfaction feels out of reach.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Cultivate Gratitude. Keep a daily journal of things you’re thankful for.
- Volunteer. Giving back to your community or working on purpose-driven tasks can reignite your sense of meaning.
- Engage in Spiritual Practices. Whether it’s attending a religious service, meditating, or connecting with a higher power, these practices can nourish your soul.
No. 5 — Social Rest
Signs You Need It.
- You feel isolated or lonely, even when surrounded by people.
- Spending time with others leaves you feeling drained rather than energized.
- Detachment from loved ones becomes more noticeable.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Spend Quality Time with Uplifting People. A one-on-one conversation with someone who fills you with joy can work wonders.
- Take Space from Draining Relationships. Limit interactions with people who sap your energy.
- Join a Community. Find a group, club, or activity with like-minded individuals to foster meaningful connections.
No. 6 — Sensory Rest
Signs You Need It.
- Your eyes feel strained, especially after long hours of screen time.
- Loud noises or bright lights irritate you more than usual.
- Your senses of taste or smell seem dulled.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Unplug. Step away from screens and take breaks from digital devices.
- Change Your Environment. Dim the lights, lower background noise, or use noise-canceling headphones.
- Reset With Stillness. Close your eyes and breathe deeply for a minute to calm your senses.
No. 7 — Creative Rest
Signs You Need It.
- Your schedule is packed, leaving no time for free thinking.
- Brainstorming ideas or coming up with creative solutions feels like an uphill battle.
- You no longer notice or appreciate the beauty in nature or art.
How To Get It. Physical rest comes in two forms: passive and active.
- Take Regular Breaks. Incorporate both small (15 minutes during the day) and big (vacations or staycations) breaks into your routine.
- Reconnect With Creativity. Spend time outdoors, read for pleasure, or explore activities like dancing or attending shows.
- Do Nnothing. Let yourself have moments of carefree, unstructured time.
Why Rest Is More Than Sleep
We often equate rest with sleep, but as you can see, it’s just a small piece of the puzzle. Each type of rest addresses a different area of exhaustion. By identifying the kind of rest you’re missing and actively incorporating it into your life, you can show up as your best self—not just during the holidays but all year long.
So as you move through 2025, take stock of how you’re resting. Are you only catching up on sleep, or are you giving yourself the holistic rest you truly need? The more intentional you are about meeting these needs, the more refreshed, focused, and joyful you’ll feel.
quick read — LEADERSHIP
Great Leaders Lead Through Stories, Not Slideshows
When was the last time a spreadsheet inspired you? Or a PowerPoint presentation left you with chills of excitement? For most people, the answer is likely “never.” But a story? A well-told story can ignite passion, build trust, and create lasting change. Great leaders understand this power and use storytelling as a cornerstone of their leadership style. Instead of overwhelming their audience with data and bullet points, they weave narratives that resonate emotionally and intellectually.
Here’s why storytelling works, how it impacts leadership, and some of the most popular storytelling models leaders can use to inspire and motivate their teams.
Why Stories Are More Powerful Than Data
Humans are hardwired for stories. From ancient oral traditions to blockbuster movies, stories have always been the primary way we communicate ideas, values, and lessons. Neuroscience reveals that stories activate multiple areas of the brain, including those responsible for emotion, memory, and sensory experiences. This makes stories far more engaging and memorable than dry statistics or slide decks.
In leadership, stories do more than entertain. They:
- Build Trust. Sharing personal or relatable stories humanizes leaders, making them more approachable and credible.
- Foster Connection. Stories create emotional bonds, helping leaders connect with their teams on a deeper level.
- Inspire Action. A compelling narrative can motivate people to overcome challenges, embrace change, or rally behind a shared vision.
The Impact of Storytelling in Leadership
Great leaders don’t just communicate—they captivate. Consider some of history’s most iconic figures:
- Martin Luther King Jr. His “I Have a Dream” speech wasn’t a list of policy proposals; it was a vision of a better future, painted vividly through storytelling.
- Steve Jobs. When introducing the iPhone, Jobs didn’t just list its features. He told a story about the evolution of technology, positioning the iPhone as a revolutionary product.
- Barack Obama. Known for his eloquence, Obama often shared personal anecdotes to highlight broader societal issues, making his messages relatable and impactful.
By using stories, these leaders created movements, not just messages. Their narratives sparked emotions and inspired actions that spreadsheets and slides never could.
Popular Storytelling Models for Leaders
To harness the power of storytelling, leaders don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Here are some proven storytelling frameworks that can help craft compelling narratives:
No. 1 — The Hero’s Journey
Popularized by Joseph Campbell, the Hero’s Journey is a timeless narrative arc seen in myths, movies, and literature. It follows a protagonist who embarks on a journey, faces challenges, and emerges transformed.
- How Leaders Can Use It. Frame challenges as opportunities for growth. For example, a leader might share how their company faced a major setback, rallied together, and emerged stronger.
- Example. “Our team’s journey to launch this product was like climbing a mountain. There were obstacles and moments of doubt, but together, we reached the summit.”
No. 2 — The Pixar Model
Pixar’s storytelling formula is simple yet effective: Once upon a time…, Every day…, One day…, Because of that…, Until finally…
- How Leaders Can Use It. Use this structure to frame a vision or share a success story. It’s particularly effective for illustrating change or progress.
- Example. “Once upon a time, our company struggled with low customer satisfaction. Every day, we faced complaints and cancellations. One day, we decided to put customer feedback at the heart of our strategy. Because of that, we revamped our processes. Until finally, we became the industry leader in customer satisfaction.”
No. 3 — The Mountain Model
This model visualizes a story as a series of peaks and valleys, representing challenges and triumphs.
- How Leaders Can Use It. Highlight the ups and downs of a journey to showcase resilience and perseverance.
- Example. “Our path to success wasn’t a straight line. We hit unexpected obstacles, but each time, we learned and grew.”
No. 4 — The WHY Framework
Simon Sinek’s “Start with Why” framework emphasizes beginning a narrative with the purpose or motivation behind an action.
- How Leaders Can Use It. Explain not just what the team is doing, but why it matters.
- Example. “Why do we do what we do? Because we believe in creating opportunities for everyone. That’s why we’re launching this initiative.”
No. 5 — The Sparkline
Nancy Duarte’s Sparkline model contrasts “what is” with “what could be,” creating tension and excitement.
- How Leaders Can Use It. Paint a picture of the current state, then juxtapose it with a vision of a brighter future.
- Example. “Right now, our processes are slowing us down. But imagine a world where every team works seamlessly together. Let’s make that world our reality.”
Tips for Effective Storytelling in Leadership
No. 1 — Be Authentic. Share stories that align with your values and experiences. Authenticity builds trust.
No. 2 — Know Your Audience. Tailor your story to resonate with the needs and emotions of your team.
No. 3 — Keep It Simple. Focus on one clear message. Avoid overloading your narrative with unnecessary details.
No. 4 — Use Visuals Sparingly. If you must use slides, ensure they complement your story, not overshadow it.
No. 5 — Practice Delivery. A great story loses its impact if poorly delivered. Practice your tone, pacing, and body language.
Leading through stories is about more than charisma—it’s about connection. Stories have the power to inspire, educate, and unite in ways that data and presentations never will. By embracing storytelling models like the Hero’s Journey, the Pixar formula, or the WHY framework, leaders can craft messages that leave a lasting impression.
In a world saturated with information, the leaders who stand out are those who tell stories worth remembering. So, the next time you’re tempted to fire up a PowerPoint, pause and ask yourself: “What story can I tell instead?”
Quotes of the Week
QUOTE — EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
QUOTE — PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
QUOTE — LEADERSHIP
Reframe
Worth & Validation: It’s An Inside Job
In an age dominated by social media metrics, consumerism, and external validation, the notion of self-worth has become precariously tied to likes, followers, and impressions. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that our value as individuals depends on how others perceive us. Yet, this mindset fosters an endless chase for approval, leaving us feeling empty and unfulfilled. It’s time to reframe our understanding of worth and validation by recognizing that true happiness is an inside job.
The Illusion of External Validation
We live in a world where a curated life often overshadows an authentic one. Social media platforms are designed to reward popularity, and it’s all too tempting to equate our worth with the number of likes on a post or the followers on our profiles. However, this external validation is inherently fleeting. It hinges on the opinions and attention of others, which are unpredictable and often superficial.
When we anchor our self-esteem to external factors, we hand over the keys to our happiness. We’re no longer in control of our emotional well-being because it’s tethered to something beyond our power. A lack of likes on a post can feel like rejection. Losing followers can be perceived as a personal failure. But in truth, these metrics have no bearing on our intrinsic value. They are, quite literally, meaningless numbers.
The same can be said for materialistic pursuits. While a new car, luxury handbag, or dream house might provide a temporary thrill, these things do not create lasting happiness. Instead, they often set us on a never-ending cycle of wanting more. True satisfaction cannot be bought or measured; it must come from within.
Why External Validation Fails to Satisfy
There’s a psychological reason why external validation feels so appealing yet ultimately falls short. Our brains are wired to seek social connection and approval because these factors were essential to survival in early human history. However, the modern obsession with validation has hijacked this instinct, amplifying it in unhealthy ways.
The dopamine hit we receive from a like or a compliment feels good, but it’s short-lived. Over time, we become desensitized, requiring more validation to achieve the same level of satisfaction. This creates a vicious cycle: the more we seek external approval, the more we need it to feel good about ourselves. Instead of fostering contentment, this dependency leaves us feeling anxious and inadequate.
Moreover, external validation often comes with a catch. It encourages us to conform to societal standards or project an image that aligns with what others expect, even if it’s not true to who we are. This disconnect between our authentic selves and the persona we present can lead to feelings of inauthenticity and dissatisfaction.
Turning Inward: The Power of Self-Validation
Breaking free from the cycle of external validation requires a fundamental shift in perspective. It means recognizing that worth is not something to be granted by others; it’s something we cultivate within ourselves. Self-validation is the practice of affirming our own value, independent of external circumstances.
Here are a few principles to guide this transformation:
No. 1 — Define Your Own Standards
One of the most liberating aspects of self-validation is the ability to define what success and happiness mean to you. Instead of measuring yourself against societal benchmarks or the curated lives of others, set your own criteria for fulfillment. This could mean prioritizing meaningful relationships, pursuing a passion, or simply finding joy in everyday moments.
No. 3 — Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to the endless pursuit of more. When we focus on what we already have, we shift our attention away from what we lack. By regularly acknowledging the positive aspects of our lives, we strengthen our sense of contentment and reduce the urge to seek external validation.
No. 3 — Cultivate Self-Compassion
We are often our harshest critics. Cultivating self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Accept your imperfections, celebrate your strengths, and remind yourself that your worth is not tied to your achievements or the approval of others.
No. 4 — Engage in Meaningful Activities
Filling your life with activities that align with your values and bring genuine joy can shift your focus inward. Whether it’s volunteering, creating art, or spending time in nature, meaningful activities help you connect with your authentic self and foster a sense of purpose.
No. 5 — Build Resilience Through Reflection
Taking time to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and values can strengthen your sense of self. Journaling, meditation, or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts allows you to process your feelings and gain clarity about what truly matters to you.
The Freedom of Internal Validation
When you shift your focus from external validation to self-validation, you reclaim your power. You’re no longer at the mercy of other people’s opinions or societal expectations. Instead, you find freedom in knowing that your worth is inherent and unchangeable.
This shift doesn’t mean that you stop valuing relationships or feedback from others. On the contrary, it allows you to engage with others from a place of strength and authenticity. When you no longer need others’ approval to feel good about yourself, you can form deeper, more genuine connections.
Breaking the Habit
Transitioning from a reliance on external validation to cultivating self-worth is a process that requires patience and practice. Here are a few steps to help you on this journey:
No. 1 — Identify Your Triggers. Notice situations or behaviors that make you seek external validation. Understanding your triggers is the first step in breaking the habit.
No. 2 — Challenge Negative Thoughts. When you catch yourself seeking approval or doubting your worth, challenge those thoughts. Replace them with affirmations of your inherent value.
No. 3 — Limit Social Media Use. If social media is a significant source of external validation for you, consider setting boundaries. Take breaks or limit your time on these platforms to reduce their influence on your self-esteem.
No. 4 — Surround Yourself with Supportive People. Build a circle of friends and mentors who encourage and uplift you. Positive relationships can reinforce your journey toward self-validation.
No. 5 — Celebrate Your Progress. Recognize and celebrate small victories along the way. Each step you take toward self-validation is a testament to your growth.
Redefining Happiness
Ultimately, happiness is not something that can be found in the opinions of others or the accumulation of material possessions. It is a state of being that arises when we align with our values, nurture our relationships, and embrace our authentic selves.
By reframing our understanding of worth and validation, we free ourselves from the pressures of external expectations. We learn to find joy in the present moment and appreciate the unique journey that is our own. In doing so, we discover that true happiness has been within us all along, waiting to be acknowledged and embraced.
The journey inward is not always easy, but it is undoubtedly worth it. By prioritizing self-validation and redefining our notions of worth, we create a life that is rich, meaningful, and deeply fulfilling. So, let’s stop looking outward for validation and start recognizing the immense value that lies within.
Deep Dives Articles
DEEP DIVES ARTICLE — EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional Intelligence – The Leadership Differentiator
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives article — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full article.
What sets truly exceptional leaders apart from the rest? Emotional Intelligence (EI). In our latest Deep Dive, Emotional Intelligence – The Leadership Differentiator, we reveal how mastering EI can transform your leadership style, foster stronger connections, and drive team performance like never before. Ready to unlock the secret weapon of great leadership? Subscribe to our Deep Dives Membership for exclusive access to this game-changing article and other insights that will elevate your leadership journey!
DEEP DIVES ARTICLE — PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
The Power of Personal Branding in the Age of AI
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives article — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full article.
In a world where your digital presence often makes the first impression, your personal brand is your most valuable asset. But building and maintaining that brand can feel overwhelming – unless you have AI in your corner. In The Power of Personal Branding in the Age of AI, discover how AI tools can streamline your personal branding efforts, amplify your influence, and give you a competitive edge in any industry. Ready to unlock the full potential of your personal brand? Subscribe to our Deep Dives membership to read the full article and take your personal branding game to the next level.
DEEP DIVES ARTICLE — LEADERSHIP
Applying the Pain-Pleasure Principle to Leadership
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives article — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full article.
Great leaders know that understanding human motivation is the key to inspiring action. In our latest Deep Dive, Applying the Pain-Pleasure Principle to Leadership, we explore how leveraging this psychological principle can help you guide your team, foster engagement, and drive results. Learn how to harness the power of what people seek to avoid—and what they strive to achieve—to become a more effective and empathetic leader. Don’t miss out—subscribe to our Deep Dives Membership for exclusive access to this transformative article and more!
Deep Dives Book Summary
The 12 Traits of the Greats: Mastering the Qualities of Uncommon Achievers
By Dr. Dave Martin
This is a sneak peek of this week’s Deep Dives Book Review — published today! Become a Deep Dives Member to get access to the full Book Summary.
Unlock the secrets of extraordinary success with our latest Deep Dive: The 12 Traits of the Greats: Mastering the Qualities of Uncommon Achievers by Dr. Dave Martin. This powerful summary explores the timeless principles and actionable strategies that drive high achievers to greatness. From cultivating courage to embracing adaptability, each trait is paired with practical steps to help you transform your mindset and elevate your life. Don’t miss this exclusive guide to mastering the habits of the world’s most successful individuals—subscribe to our Deep Dives Membership today for full access!