Emotional Intelligence Series
In times of crisis—whether it’s a global pandemic, mass layoffs, social upheaval, or collective grief—leaders are faced with an impossible tension: how do you keep the ship afloat while honoring the emotional storm everyone is sailing through?
It’s a test of vision, certainly. But more than anything, it’s a test of emotional intelligence (EQ).
Because when people are in pain, logic alone won’t move them. They don’t just need answers. They need attunement. They need truth with compassion, direction with humanity, and stability without emotional detachment.
The leaders who rise in these moments aren’t the ones who react the fastest or speak the loudest. They’re the ones who know how to stay present, empathetic, and clear—even when emotions run high.
This is where EQ becomes not just a nice-to-have leadership trait, but a non-negotiable superpower.
What Is Collective Trauma—and Why Is EQ Essential?
Collective trauma occurs when a group of people—an organization, a nation, or even a global population—experiences a deeply distressing event that impacts their sense of safety, identity, or normalcy.
It’s not just about what happened. It’s about how it affects the emotional landscape of the people involved. Think:
- The grief and uncertainty during COVID-19
- The emotional whiplash of mass layoffs or restructuring
- The tension following racial or social injustice
- The shock after a workplace tragedy or scandal
In these moments, people aren’t just looking for direction. They’re looking for reassurance that they still matter. And that’s where emotionally intelligent leadership becomes vital.
The Five Core EQ Competencies in Crisis Leadership
Let’s explore how emotionally intelligent leaders show up when the pressure is on, using Daniel Goleman’s five pillars of EQ:
No. 1 — Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Own Emotional Triggers
Before you can support others, you have to manage yourself. Leaders who lack self-awareness often either collapse under stress or disconnect emotionally, leaving their teams feeling abandoned or confused.
High-EQ leaders:
- Recognize their emotional limits.
- Acknowledge their own grief, fear, or frustration.
- Avoid projecting their stress onto their teams.
They don’t pretend to be invincible. They lead from emotional honesty—not emotional leakage.
“The more self-aware you are, the more intentional your leadership becomes—especially under pressure.”
No. 2 — Self-Regulation: Leading Without Emotional Whiplash
In crisis, reactivity is the enemy. Teams don’t need to see panic, blame, or erratic behavior. They need calm clarity, even if the news is hard.
Emotionally intelligent leaders regulate their responses by:
- Pausing before reacting.
- Naming their emotions without making them the team’s burden.
- Modeling steadiness in the face of disruption.
They understand that emotional contagion is real—and if the leader is spiraling, the team soon will be too.
No. 3 — Empathy: Feeling With, Not Just For
Empathy is the heartbeat of EQ in crisis. It’s what keeps you from delivering hard news with cold detachment or brushing past people’s emotional realities for the sake of “efficiency.”
True empathy in leadership looks like:
- Validating people’s emotions: “I know this is hard. I’m feeling it too.”
- Making space for grief or reaction without rushing to fix it.
- Checking in individually with people who may be especially impacted.
Empathetic leaders don’t make pain disappear. But they refuse to let people feel invisible inside it.
No. 4 — Social Awareness: Reading the Room Beyond the Words
In crisis, people don’t always say what they’re feeling. That’s why social awareness—reading body language, tone, and subtext—is so essential.
Leaders with high EQ pay attention to:
- Who’s withdrawing or disengaging.
- What’s not being said in meetings.
- The difference between polite silence and emotional suppression.
This sensitivity allows them to catch morale dips and emotional fractures early, before they deepen into cultural wounds.
No. 5 — Relationship Management: Holding Teams Together
In a crisis, relationships either fracture or strengthen. Emotionally intelligent leaders use the moment to deepen trust, build resilience, and create psychological safety.
They do this by:
- Communicating often and transparently—even when they don’t have all the answers.
- Admitting when they’re wrong or unsure.
- Offering support resources and modeling self-care.
They prioritize people over polish—opting for real over perfect.
Real-World Examples of Emotionally Intelligent Crisis Leadership
No. 1 — Arne Sorenson, Former CEO of Marriott International
In 2020, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Marriott faced massive losses. Sorenson delivered a video message to employees that was transparent, direct, and deeply human. Despite undergoing cancer treatment, he appeared without fanfare and spoke from the heart—acknowledging the pain, sharing the stakes, and expressing deep care for his team.
Why it worked: Vulnerability + clarity = trust. It wasn’t scripted leadership. It was human leadership.
No. 2 — New Zealand’s Jacinda Ardern
During both the Christchurch shootings and the COVID crisis, Ardern led with striking emotional intelligence—balancing firm decisions with deep empathy. Her communication was frequent, transparent, and often infused with emotional language that made people feel seen and safe.
Why it worked: She didn’t separate policy from people. She led with both competence and compassion.
No. 3 — Airbnb’s Brian Chesky
In 2020, when Airbnb laid off 25% of its workforce, Chesky wrote a heartfelt public letter explaining the decision. He was honest, generous with severance, and spoke to both employees and customers with humility and respect.
Why it worked: It acknowledged grief without sugarcoating reality—and preserved trust even amid loss.
What Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Don’t Do in Crisis
Just as important as what they do is what high-EQ leaders avoid:
- They don’t gaslight emotions with “Look on the bright side” platitudes.
- They don’t hide behind silence when the team needs clarity.
- They don’t power through as if nothing happened.
- They don’t dump their own emotional weight onto the team unchecked.
Instead, they create a container—a psychologically safe space where people can process, question, grieve, and still feel led.
Practical Tools to Lead with EQ in Crisis
Whether you’re navigating a layoff, a tragedy, or a societal flashpoint, here are tools to lead with emotional intelligence:
No. 1 — Acknowledge Before You Advise
Start with emotional validation before jumping to action steps. “I know this is hard” goes a long way.
No. 2 — Communicate in Layers
Use multiple touchpoints—email, video, team huddles—to reinforce clarity and connection. Don’t rely on one memo to carry emotional weight.
No. 3 — Hold Space
Give people the option—not obligation—to process. Host optional listening sessions or peer-support calls.
No. 4 — Check In, Don’t Check Out
Ask, “How are you really doing?” And be prepared to pause and listen—without rushing to fix.
No. 5 — Lead by Example
Model vulnerability, self-care, and boundary-setting. Your team is watching how you handle the storm.
Crisis Reveals Culture—And Character
When things fall apart, people remember how you made them feel.
Not just what you said, but how present you were. Not just how fast you acted, but how human you stayed. Not just the decisions you made, but the way you delivered them.
Emotionally intelligent leaders understand this. They don’t just lead through crisis. They lead people through crisis.
And when the dust settles, that’s what builds a team that not only survives—but emerges stronger.
Because in times of trauma, EQ isn’t fluff.
It’s leadership at its highest level.
